Your Best Relationship in 2018

Hi there, do you remember me? It seems like a long time since I last wrote this blog, but it’s actually only been a few weeks. I know the holidays interfered with my schedule – enjoyable though they were. And this year got off to a horrendous start. I attended four funerals and a memorial service in week one and spent most of week two in bed with the same crud that many of you have had.
But I am excited to see what potential 2018 holds for improved relationships with those who are important to us. I heard recently that since the future is imaginary, so why not spend time imagining a better future than your present situation?
None of us knows for certain what tomorrow, or next week or next month will bring, yet too often we waste time fretting and dreading what that might be. Why do we do that? I wish I could tell you, but I’m not quite sure.
I do know that all of us have to fight an ongoing battle with the thoughts that pop into our minds uninvited and unwelcomed. You know what I’m talking about. Thoughts that you are too much this or not enough that, or that in some ways you just don’t measure up with others.
While I do not know precisely what thoughts you face, I can assure you that all of us wonder at times who is in that marvelous mind of ours anyway?
One common thought most of us have at times is whether or not a relationship that is strained is fixable at all. This is a very dangerous occurrence as the negative thoughts can take on more power and impact while the hopeful, positive thoughts lose their influence. Left unchecked, the relationship is doomed.
So here’s my challenge for this week. Pay close attention to the thoughts you have about your relationship. Are you spending more time looking at the negative, imperfect, and seemingly unfixable aspects, or more time focusing on the good and the possible? Do the former and you will be out of that relationship in short order. Do the latter and you will begin to see gradual changes and improvements over time.
Today is the only day you have to work on improving your relationship – or keeping it healthy and strong. You do not have tomorrow and you certainly do not have yesterday. All you have is today so why not find one thing you can do that contributes to the overall health of the relationship and do that today? This need not be huge and life-changing all by itself, but by doing one positive gesture (more are welcome if possible) each day, the cumulative effect will be a restored, happy, healthy and thriving relationship within just a few months.
Am I prepared to give you a money-back guarantee that what you just read will work? Well, actually I am since you didn’t pay to read it. But seriously, doesn’t it just make sense that concentrated efforts to improve anything should result in improvements? It’s kind of like a cruise ship that is going the wrong way and needs to turn around. It does not remedy the situation in one massive turn, but rather in a series of small, almost unnoticeable turns that add up to the proper course correction.
Nobody ever said relationships should be easy, but I have 30 years of experience in watching relationships end because one or both parties stopped doing their part to make it work well. Please don’t let this happen to you.
And, lastly, if you will permit me some shameless marketing. I will be speaking at the San Juan College Little Theater next Thursday evening February 1 at 7:00 pm. This is part of the College’s Broadening Horizons series. My topic will be laughter, humor, and fun in life. If your relationship is hurting I promise you this is an area that is deficient and needs addressing. The event is free, so please come join me as we spend an hour of life and relationship helping laughter.