How many of you know someone who is a delight to be around?
You know, someone who can brighten up any room just by entering it. As you think of these people there’s a strong chance they have some qualities in common.
One such quality is optimism. I think I know what the word means, but just to make sure I looked it up in the Encarta dictionary. Here’s what I found. Optimism is “the tendency to believe, expect, or hope that things will turn out well.” It is also considered to be: “the attitude of somebody who feels positive or confident.” And, finally, optimism is a philosophy or “the belief that things are continually getting better and that good will ultimately triumph over evil.”
It seems some people are more prone to an optimistic outlook on life than others. I believe, however, that optimism is a trait that can be developed by anyone with the right effort and desire. Dr. Martin Seligman is the author of the books Learned Helplessness and Learned Optimism. He is also the founder of Positive Psychology. According to his website www.authentichappiness.com Positive Psychology is “a branch of psychology which focuses on the empirical study of such things as positive emotions, strengths-based character, and healthy institutions.”
Dr. Seligman has determined that people can change their outlook on life and become more optimistic. This, despite the circumstances they face in their lives. We all have situations, challenges and problems in our lives. That is simply unavoidable, and often uncontrollable. What we can typically control, however, is our attitude and responses to those difficulties.
Do you have a tendency to view life from a victim or spectator perspective? Things just seem to happen to you and there’s little or nothing that you can do about it? Do you find yourself focusing on the negative aspects of life and rarely on the positive? No, this is not a commercial for Lucy Ricardo’s vitameatavegimen or any other quick fix. What I am suggesting, is that, as this year ends and the next begins you might want to take stock of your overall outlook on life. Are your paradigms and expectations where you want them to be?
According to the Institute for Health and Human Potential, “Optimists have a unique way of explaining the cause of events – and they tend to see setbacks as temporary, isolated events- and they don’t take it personally.” Other benefits enjoyed by optimists over pessimists are that they tend to set higher goals and adhere to them; they have more inner security; they are healthier and have fewer days off work.
A benefit I would add is that optimists have better relationships in their lives. Again, would you rather be around someone who can brighten a room just by entering or one who can brighten any room just by leaving?
If you are reading these words you have reasons for optimism. You are in the greatest country on the globe. You are alive and have potential to learn and grow. You have freedoms that most people in the world can’t even fathom. You likely have people in your life who care deeply for you and whom you appreciate.
So as Christmas and the New Year draw near, I invite you to assess the important relationships in your life. Are they where you want them to be? Are you investing in them as you should? Are you demonstrating a spirit of optimism within them?
By the way, after looking up optimism I looked up the definition of merry. I wasn’t surprised to find “full of or showing lively cheerfulness or enjoyment” and “tending to produce cheerfulness or happiness in people.” Sounds to me like a great prescription for healthy relationships.
So let me close by wishing you a very merry Christmas and an optimistic New Year.
Ron is a member of the San Juan Rotary Club, workshops committee co-chair for the Four Corners Conference for Professional Development, and the Executive Director of the Four Corners Coalition for Marriage & Family, Inc.
