Wasn’t it Dickens who penned the famous line: “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times”? That’s about how I feel each year around this time as we approach the Christmas season. I do appreciate so much about this season and all that Christmas signifies. What I can do without, however, is the added stress and hectic pace that seems to come along with it. Why do I think so many of you agree with me?
I vividly remember going to Walmart on Dec. 24, 2004. Does that date mean anything to you? Along with being Christmas Eve, it was also a time when we had only one Walmart in Farmington. Packed does not do justice to how crowded the place was. I tried to take some solace in the fact that I obviously was not the only last minute shopper trying to finish off his gift list for the year.
As I parked my truck – at the furthest reaches of the parking lot –I turned off the ignition and waited before exiting. I formed in my mind a picture of what the scene inside would likely be and it wasn’t a pretty sight. I envisioned hundreds, if not thousands of frazzled, irritable, uptight people who had anything but the holiday spirit. I figured the majority of them would be rude, impatient, demanding and generally not nice to be around. I decided it was my choice whether to join them and do exactly the same. Or, I could choose a different attitude and not get sucked into their drudgery.
Having chosen the latter, I left my truck and entered the store. I was immediately struck with the accuracy of my prediction. You could see it on people’s faces and watch it in their behavior. Having chosen my attitude, I began to smile at folks. I said Merry Christmas and greeted all as warmly as I could. I began to shoot prayers at certain ones who seemed especially burdened. I purchased my items and left the store in an exhilarated mood.
Now, I have to tell you that I don’t want to go to any store on Christmas Eve ever again. It’s one thing to choose your attitude. It’s entirely something else not to put yourself in a situation where you’ll likely have to. The lesson I learned on that day, however, has served me very well several times since. I learned that if I didn’t choose my attitude someone or something else would do it for me. And I probably wouldn’t like the results of their choice.
Let me give you a bold promise and prediction. Before this year ends you will find yourself tense and upset with a co-worker, family member, or perhaps fellow motorist. You will find yourself in situations where others are tense and upset about life. You will then have the same choice that I did. Either to choose your attitude or to relinquish that choice to someone else. Seems like a no-brainer to me, but this is America and we can choose to let others lead our lives if we want.
As I’ve said many times over this past year, relationships are not always easy to manage. You’re dealing with someone who is no more perfect than you are and who will likely get on your nerves at times just as you do on theirs. That fact you have no control over. How you react and/or respond in those situations is typically well within your scope of control.
I appreciate a story I read in Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen R. Covey. He tells of a man who comes home after a hard day’s work. He pulls into the driveway and turns off the motor. Before he gets out of the car, he pauses and envisions the scene within the home. Mom is likely trying to get dinner ready while the kids are expending their indefatigable resource of energy. He knows that if he brings his troubles from the day into the home he will likely ruin the evening for all involved. Instead he decides to leave the cares of his workday world until tomorrow and now he is ready to assume his role as husband and father. With that frame of reference he exits the car and enters a home where he is welcomed by all and where he gives of himself, having decided that is what he wanted to do.
That story is called “Push the pause button in the driveway” and I offer it to you as a gift for this Christmas season. Oh, it might not be the most expensive gift you’ll receive this year, but I can assure you it might be one of the most valuable. You’ll find that it also works to push the pause button in the parking lot outside your place of employment. Before going in to work you must decide that you will not bring troubles and challenges from home into the workplace. People do this all the time unless they make a conscious choice to not do so.
Ron is a member of the San Juan Rotary Club, workshops committee co-chair for the Four Corners Conference for Professional Development, and the Executive Director of the Four Corners Coalition for Marriage & Family, Inc.
